I May Never Be Back Here

May 17, 2009


Lydia, Lori, and I have left Oxford. We’re on the bus to London. The sky is nice and grey. It rained for us before we departed. Oxford is so perfect in the rain. I think it was quite appropriate that it was raining as we left because if my life were a movie, it would have rained to signify sorrow, but revitalization. Really Good goodbyes always happen in the rain.

Seb A said, “See you at the wedding!” as his farewell. That’s probably the next time I’ll see him. October 2010. Same with James K and Seb B. I am all too aware that I will not have a chance to visit Oxford again for a very long time. I’ll have to come back to visit Brent Lederle when he’s spending a Hilary term at HMC :)

The hospitality of the Sebastians was overwhelming. Seb A fully surrendered his room and none of us had to sleep on the floor because they’d arranged mattresses for all of us.

Lydia painted a watercolor for me of Harris Manchester. She spent Saturday afternoon working on it while I got my haircut and started writing a song. It’s a pretty simple song considering I know about 5 chords and have never really put my own words to music. The watercolor. Let me try and do it justice with words.

There’s a view of Harris Manchester that has always jolted my insides, making them a little too big for my outsides. I first noticed it when returning from a dance rather late one night. You walk up the street and the library is the first section of the building you see. The windows are stained glass and they positively glow.
This is the same view that I, when with Seb B, exclaimed the beauty of Harris Manchester’s library. It still gets me, though. So Lydia sat on the sidewalk, next to a random pair of 20 p pieces, and painted the most beautiful angle of that building. She gave it to me that night and, I didn’t think I would, but I wept.

I knew it would be priceless to me. There is so much represented in that painting that I cannot fully explain. It’s my favorite view of Harris Manchester. It was something that until then, I had experienced alone. Someone whom I love traveled across an ocean and saw it too. Took the time to internalize it, interpret it, and then share their view of it with me.

There are no people in the painting but people are implicit because Lydia painting from life means she me and interacted with the ones I love from Harris Manchester. My two lives come together in that painting.

Lori played soccer with the boys on Friday night. She was the only girl and I’m pretty sure the only American too. I think she went over well :)

Lydia played the guitar with James. We had a series of sing alongs and midnight jam sessions. Poor Seb B. We completely invaded his room on Friday night. He didn’t want to go dancing. He didn’t want to be out late. He wanted to sleep and our demanding rowdy attitude would not consent. So me, Lydia, Lori, and James went with him back to his room. Seb crawled into bed. We all poured a glass of Monkey Shoulder whiskey and played the guitar and sang until about 3 a.m. We wanted his company and by God we were going to get it whether he was asleep or not!

There are many little wonderful things that happened while we were at Oxford. We ate dinner in the bathroom. We started writing a few songs. By the end of this trip there will be an album, a blog novel, a photo documentary, a book of poetry, and a gallery’s worth of paintings to show for it.
Dreams that we’ve had since childhood will be fulfilled. Lori got to see Big Ben. A dream of hers now with a great big check mark next to it. Playing soccer at Oxford. She didn’t know it was a dream till it was happening.

I remember the very first day I got to Oxford and saw all the bicycles. I thought, “if only Lydia Joy could see this bicycle heaven!” And she did.

Having them around leaves a little less time for blogging and some aspects of personal reflection. But there is so much more to be developed between us.

By the way, within a few hours of getting to Oxford with Lyd and Lor, I finished Brother’s Karamazov. The three of us went to the park and sat for a few hours. Lori read. Lydia painted. And I finished Brother’s Karamazov. I couldn’t have finished at a better place than the University Parks. I bought a Ray Bradbury book called The Martian Chronicles. I’ve decided that I will only read books that Sheena holds in high esteem while on this trip. Even if that means I have to reread Le Petit Prince while in France this summer. It’s my way of keeping her very close while I’m painfully aware that she’s quite far away.

Seb B made an excellent comment today at our last meal together. He said that he loves the feeling of leaving a place because while it’s sad to say goodbye and go, there’s a new and unknown place yet to be discovered. And you’re once again reminded that, “I’m traveling!”